Joe Queenan on why he won't take a cruise with millennials

An interesting thought occurred to me.  Millennials and Gen Xers quite accurately view baby boomers as their economic adversaries.  Retirees like me are stifling the futures of younger generations with our extravagant Social Security benefits.  Yet for some reason young people are enthusiastically signing up for cruises where they will be surrounded by the very cohort they have reason to despise.  Why? 

Let’s just say ocean cruises offer a wonderful opportunity for millennials and Gen Xers to even up the generational score.  There you are, out on the Lido Deck, all set to enjoy the Aurora Borealis, when without warning some vindictive millennial gives you a little nudge in the back.  Splish!  Splash!  Man overboard!

Do I honestly think millennials would do such a cruel and devious thing?  Well, I could hardly blame them.  That’s why I’m keeping my eyes peeled for an all-expenses-paid family cruise invitation from my kids.  I love you guys, but I don’t trust you.

~ Joe Queenan, "I Won't Be Going on Any Cruise Ship With Millennials," The Wall Street Journal, June 28, 2023