P.J. O'Rourke on the two rules of a free society

There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business.  Keep your hands to yourself.

~ P.J. O'Rourke

P.J. O'Rourke on why a Biden presidency would be bad, but a Trump second term would be even worse

Biden's campaign platform is 564 pages long. It promises everything to everybody. It's full of unicorns and flying ponies and candy-flavored rainbows and pixie dust. And when those flying ponies glide with the marzipan rainbows and pixie dust starts to gum up the works of society … we're going to be in for a mess … But on the other hand, I think we're done with this experiment of having the inmates run the asylum.

There's wrong and there's damn wrong.

~ P.J. O'Rourke, A Cry From the Far Middle: Dispatches From a Divided Land

(Book passage was quoted by Reason.com in "P.J. O'Rourke: 'This Is the End of the World for Classical Liberalism'," October 22, 2020

P.J. O'Rourke on Democrats vs. Republicans

The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it.

~ P.J. O'Rourke

P.J. O'Rourke on limited government

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. 

~ P.J. O'Rourke

P.J. O'Rourke on government and power

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. 

~ P.J. O'Rourke

P.J. O'Rourke on democracy

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us. 

~ P.J. O'Rourke